Why I don't believe in God but strongly wish there is one...

... or in other words, why I'm agnostic. This is related to Christian way of thinking about God, and I suppose that it extends to some other large religions as well. It certainly doesn't cover every possible religion nor it is meant to. I'm not going to discuss every possible religion for a simple reason that I neither have time nor will nor interest to do so.

First, let me say that I strongly believe that humans are inherently good, in a sense that they are emphatic, caring, willing to help, etc. What's more, I believe that all living beings are such, not only humans! This is my personal belief, even though, I think there is a strong evidence in favor of such thinking. Namely, from biology and evolutionary psychology it is known that being emphatic increases the chances of survival! Next thing I do believe, is that this life is not meant to be enjoyable but rather living beings suffer during their life time. Constantly they are under different threats. Of course, some suffer more, some, lucky ones, less, but in the end we all suffer.

So, when some person is evil I think that the primary reason for being such is that the life made him/her that way. Many people never felt a love, never had anything, and how could they give something like that when they never received it, they even don't know what that is!? Yes, I know, you may now say that the behavior is genetically determined, but then the things are even more worse as it means we are "programmed" to be evil or god. And how can someone be guilty in that case?! So, here we are, I ask, why would someone be punished for eternity for something that's not his/her fault? Based on this simple question I refuse to believe there is a God.

This, I hope, answers the first part of the title. As for the second part, I desperately  wish there is a God for those that suffer, that help others without thinking on themselves, or do any other good to others. In this life they will not receive anything, and if this life is all there is, then it's unfair! You can now say something along the line that the whole is more important than the parts and thus it's unimportant what happens to individual, but I don't agree.

To conclude, this is a very simplified view, but it fairly well represents what I think about the life and an idea of a God.